What the Fringe?!

The Edinburgh Festival Fringe Winners

Oliver Oliver Reed
WFJ.C Stuff

Top 10 best funniest jokes 2015

The Edinburgh Festival Fringe is the largest arts festival in the world and takes place every August (since 1947) for three weeks in Scotland’s capital city.

After more than 50,000 performances of 3,314 shows in 313 venues and 2,300,000 sold tickets, the curtain falls on the 2015 Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

And the winner is…
The 39-year-old Darren Walsh received 23% of votes with the line: “I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free.” The joke beat puns about Kim Kardashian, hippos and Jesus to win the award.

Below is a list of the official Top 10 funniest jokes 2015 and WFJ.C Top 10 Fringe one-liners, chosen by Editor Oliver Oliver Reed.

Best jokes 2015 #1
“I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free.”
– Darren Walsh

Best jokes 2015 #2
“Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse … but enough about Kanye West.”
– Stewart Francis

Best jokes 2015 #3
“Surely every car is a people carrier?”
– Adam Hess

Best jokes 2015 #4
“What’s the difference between a ‘hippo’ and a ‘Zippo’? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.”
– Masai Graham

Best jokes 2015 #5
“If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn’t go.”
– Dave Green

Best jokes 2015 #6
“Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas.”
– Mark Nelson

Best jokes 2015 #7
“Red sky at night. Shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night. Day.”
– Tom Parry

Best jokes 2015 #8
“The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves.”
– Alun Cochrane

Best jokes 2015 #9
“Clowns divorce. Custardy battle.”
– Simon Munnery

Best jokes 2015 #10
“They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for…”
– Grace The Child

Editors’ choice #1
“My twin brother is a body builder. People ask, “Are you identical twins?” We used to be. Now we look like a before and after photo.”
– Alex Edelman

Editors’ choice #2
“My dad’s like a laptop, if you don’t touch him for 10 minutes he will go to sleep.”
– Chris Martin

Editors’ choice #3
“They scoffed when I told them I’d one day learn the secret of invisibility. If they could only see me now.”
– Magician Pete Firman

Editors’ choice #4
“I went to Waterstones and asked the woman for a book about turtles. She asked: “Hardback?” and I was like: “Yeah, and little heads.””
– Mark Simmons

Editors’ choice #5
“He has a memory-foam mattress that would rather forget him.”
– Tom Binns

Editors’ choice #6
“I have anxiety, depression and irritable bowel syndrome. In the medical world I’m referred to as a “triple threat”…to myself and the people around me.”
– Felicity Ward

Editors’ choice #7
“Even at school they thought I had special powers. What was the phrase ‘Constant super-vision’.”
– Milton Jones

Editors’ choice #8
“Last week I planned my husband’s funeral. He hasn’t died yet, it’s just what I do when he annoys me.”
– Sameena Zehra

Editors’ choice #9
“What’s the difference between a ‘hippo’ and a ‘Zippo’? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.”
– Masai Graham

Editors’ choice #10
“Joan Rivers got exactly what she wanted from that final surgery – to stop ageing. Finally she nailed it.”
– Katherine Ryan

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―Michael Pritchard


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About author:Oliver Oliver Reed lives in EU with his wife and son where he pretends to be a serial entrepreneur and advertising creative when he would rather be writing. If not behind his computer, you may find him enjoying his free time with his wife and young son, reading his favorite authors, running, sailing, photographing, meditating or laughing with his friends.

Oliver lives his life by these inspiring words:

Of all the communities available to us, there is not one I would want to devote myself to except for the society of the true seekers, which has very few living members at any one time.
― Albert Einstein
Albert Einstain

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