A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, “Awwwwgh, I wish my friends were here.”
Wife: “How would you describe me?”
Wife: “What does that mean?”
Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”
Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”
Husband: “I'm just kidding!”
A guy walks into a dentist office.
He says, “Doc, you have to help me! I think I am a moth!”
The Dentist says, “I can't help you, I'm a dentist, you need a psychiatrist. Why did you even come in here?”
The man replies, “The light was on.”
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, than a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "O.K., now what?"