Today's Joke Of The Day

Bigamy Vs. Monogamy

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

JOKE OF THE DAY

Yesterday's Joke Of The Day

Animal Bureaucrats

An engineer, an accountant, a chemist and a bureaucrat were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The engineer called to his dog, “T-square, do your stuff”. The dog took out paper and pen, and drew a circle, a squareand a triangle. Everyone agreed he was smart. The accountant called, “Sliderule, do your stuff”. The […]

Other Jokes Of The Day in descending order

Bureaucracy Principle

Only a bureaucracy can fight a bureaucracy.

Boren’s Laws for Bureaucrats

1. When in charge ponder 2. When in trouble delegate 3. When in doubt mumble.

Imhoff’s Bureaucracy Law

The organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank. The really big chunks always rise to the top.

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Smith’s Principles of Bureaucratic Tinkertoy

Smith’s Principles of Bureaucratic Tinkertoy 1. Never use one word when a dozen will suffice. 2. If it can be understood, it’s not finished yet. 3. Never be the first to do anything.

A sure sign of bureaucracy

A sure sign of bureaucracy is when the first person who answers the phone can’t help you.

Job interview jokes

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the MIT, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $150,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of […]

Silent fart

An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, “I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?” The husband replies, “First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!”

My friend thinks he is smart.

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Yo momma is so fat Joke

Yo momma is so fat she uses a pillow for a tampon.

At a maternity hospital

Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, “I’m so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this…” “Don’t worry Steve, it’s not your fault.”


Surgery Jokes

Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation. Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too.


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If you see me smiling

If you see me smiling, I’m probably thinking of doing something evil. If I’m laughing, I’ve already done it.


I’m getting married again Joke

An 87-year-old man chats with his doctor: “So, I’m getting married again next week, doc!” “Oh, that’s wonderful! And how old is the bride?” “She’s 19.” “That’s fantastic – but I have to warn you, too much action in the bed can be deadly!” “Ah well, if she dies, I’ll just have to remarry.”


Heart transplant

If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want the heart of my ex-wife. She’s never used it.


Does your dog bite Joke

A man walks into a shop and sees a very handsome dog. He asks the shop assistant, “Does your dog bite?” “No, my dog doesn’t bite.” The man happily tries to pet the dog, but the dog attacks him viciously. A little later he stumbles to the shop clerk, “Hey, you said your dog doesn’t […]

You know you’re ugly when…

You know you’re ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.


Little Johnny Black Humor Jokes

Little Johnny tells his friend, “My grandpa died yesterday.” Friend asks, “Oh, how did that happen?” Johnny, “He hit his thumb with a hammer.” Friend, “But you can’t die of that!” Johnny, “I know but he wouldn’t stop screaming and cursing so we had to shoot him.”


Black Humor Jokes

For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.


Any last requests?

A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?” “Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”


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Jewish jokes – Circumcision

Q: Why do Jewish men have to be circumcised? A: Because a Jewish women wont touch anything unless it’s 20% off.

Differences Between Graduate Nurse and Experienced Nurses Joke

A Graduate Nurse throws up when the patient does. An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up. A Graduate Nurse wears so many pins on their name badge you can´t read it. An experienced nurse doesn´t wear a name badge for liability reasons A Graduate Nurse charts too much. An experienced nurse doesn´t […]

Cooking Jokes

A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they’d have to drastically alter their life-style. “If you’ll just learn to cook,” he said, “we can fire the chef.” “Okay,” she said. “And if you learn how to f**k, we can fire […]

Female firefighter joke

Q: How do you know which locker belongs to a female firefighter? A: Just look for the one with 20 pairs of fire boots under it!

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