Humor for Lexophiles


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Top 25 Funniest Puns Any Real Lexophile Would Love

Oliver Oliver Reed
WFJ.C Stuff

Top 25 Funniest Puns Any Real Lexophile Would Love

A lexophile is a lover of words, especially in word games, puzzles, anagrams, palindromes, etc. Lexophiles love to use words in unusual ways, such as “a calendar’s days are numbered”, or “a thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.”

If you like playing with words and their meanings, if you are a lover of words, a language geek, a word nerd, than you will definitely appreciate cheesy, corny, funny play on words in the following list of 25 funniest puns.

1.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

2.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

3.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

4.
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid.
He says he can stop any time.

5.
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married.
The reception was brilliant.

6.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen.
The Cops have nothing to go on.

7.
“What about the soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?”
“He’s now a seasoned veteran.”

8.
Two atoms collide. The first asks, “Are you OK?”
“No. I lost an electron!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m positive!”

9.
“Nurse, how’s the little boy who swallowed coins doing?”
“No change yet.”

10.
Police were called to a day care.
A three-year-old was resisting a rest.

11.
I tried to catch some fog.
I mist.

12.
I used to be a banker,
but then I lost interest.

13.
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

14.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

15.
Q: Did you hear about the professor who went crazy on his blackboard?
A: Yeah. He really did a number on it.

16.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

17.
Q: When fish are in schools, what’s their favorite elective?
A: They sometimes take da bait.

18.
Q: What happens when the smog lifts in Los Angeles?
A: U.C.L.A.

19.
He had a photographic memory.
Too bad it was never developed.

20.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
I just can’t put it down.

21.
If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

22.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class.
It was a weapon of math disruption.

23.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

24.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

25.
PMS jokes aren’t funny, period.

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“You don’t stop laughing because you grow old.
You grow old because you stop laughing.”

―Michael Pritchard

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About author:Oliver Oliver Reed lives in EU with his wife and son where he pretends to be a serial entrepreneur and advertising creative when he would rather be writing. If not behind his computer, you may find him enjoying his free time with his wife and young son, reading his favorite authors, running, sailing, photographing, meditating or laughing with his friends.

Oliver lives his life by these inspiring words:

Of all the communities available to us, there is not one I would want to devote myself to except for the society of the true seekers, which has very few living members at any one time.
― Albert Einstein
Albert Einstain

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