I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, “No, but I have done 53 – that’s all the sailors I could screw in one night.”


Sex Jokes: Two men and a prostitute

Two men visit a prostitute. The first man goes into the bedroom. He comes out ten minutes later and says, “Heck. My wife is better than that.” The second man goes in. He comes out ten minutes later and says, “You know what? Your wife is better.”

One liner Dirty Jokes > Masturbation

Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!

Cheesy Pick Up Lines

Do you sleep on your stomach? No? Can I?

Bonus Joke

Q: What’s the difference between a penis and a bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!

Short Jokes and Funny Puns: Life is like toilet paper

Life is like toilet paper, you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

Four types of sex in a marriage

Four types of sex in a marriage: 1. The first one is Kitchen Sex. This is when you are newlyweds, and you’re still having fun, so you do it anywhere, anytime – but mostly the kitchen. 2. The second type is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have settled down a bit and probably have […]

Little Johnny joke

Little Johnny runs into his house and asks, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?” “No,” says his mom, “Of course not.” After Little Johnny runs back outside, his mom hears him yell to his friend, “It’s OK, we can keep playing!”


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How do you know a blonde likes you?