Jean-Claude Van Damme Vs. Chuck Norris

Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris’ ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.

Roundhouse Kick
by Chuck Norris

Roundhouse kick ala Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a salesman

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a salesman. Over the phone.

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell.

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in “I hope I don’t get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.”

Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful…

Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

The worst mistake anyone has ever made

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren’t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Life is not like a box of chocolates

Life is not, in fact, like a box of chocolates. It is more like a box of Chuck Norris, roundhouse kicking you in the face. And if you receive a box of Chuck Norris, you ALWAYS know what you are going to get.

Roundhouse kick by email?

Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.

The last thing you hear before roundhouse kick?

Q: The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? A: No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

It is better to give than receive

It is better to give than receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don’t really kill people

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don’t really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

Image source: giphy.com
Image source: giphy.com

MORE CHUCK NORRIS ROUNDHOUSE KICKS

There is no force equal to Chuck Norris roundhouse kick

Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Roundhouse kick could power Australia

If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter

Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies

Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while heís roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.

Roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris

A roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

155 CHUCK NORRIS JOKES AND FACTS – NOW AVAILABLE AT AMAZON

Chuck Norris according to Einstein

According to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

Chuck Norris edition of Clue

They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be “Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick.”

Funny Joke: Chuck Norris faster than light

Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.

Fast enough for you?

Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit.

MORE CHUCK NORRIS JOKES & FACTS

Life is not like a box of chocolates

Life is not, in fact, like a box of chocolates. It is more like a box of Chuck Norris, roundhouse kicking you in the face. And if you receive a box of Chuck Norris, you ALWAYS know what you are going to get.

Chuck Norris Fact

Chuck Norris won the tour de france, on a stationary bike.

Chuck Norris Jokes and Facts – Best Ever!

[zm_sh_btn iconset=’flat’ iconset_type=’square’ icons=’facebook,twitter,googlepluse’] Editors’ Choice of TOP 10 Chuck Norris Facts From a New Book Of Chuck Norris Jokes and Facts Oliver Oliver Reed WFJ.C Stuff Within a couple of days we are going to release a new book of 300+ Chuck Norris Jokes and Facts (both on eBook and print version) compiled and […]

5 Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick Jokes

It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. *** Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone. *** Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in “I hope I don’t get a roundhouse kick […]

Chuck Norris Facts

Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.

Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris got stabbed by a knife. After 2 weeks of pain the knife died.

Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris and late fees

When Chuck Norris returns a book to the library, the librarian pays him late fees.

CHUCK NORRIS QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“I don't initiate violence, I retaliate.”

― Chuck Norris

MORE CHUCK NORRIS JOKES & FACTS

Fear of Chuck Norris

Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.

Superman once challenged Chuck Norris..

Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside.

A street named after Chuck Norris

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra

Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra… Cobra died after 5 days.

Ckuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet

Ckuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet… He scares the shit out of it.

World Horseshoe Pitching Contest

Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.

Chuck Norris can..

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

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