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Top 25 Best, Funniest Chemistry Jokes ever told
Oliver Oliver Reed
National Chemistry Week (NCW) is an annual event held in the USA to raise public awareness of the importance of chemistry in everyday life. It is coordinated by the American Chemical Society (ACS). The NCW 2015 theme is “Chemistry Colors Our World”, focusing on the chemistry of food colors and fireworks, rainbows, natural dyes and pigments, and more. (Find an event in your area.)
If you like playing with words and chemical formulas, than you will definitely appreciate these 25 chemistry jokes and puns – excerpt from the book “155 World’s Funniest CHEMISTRY JOKES And Riddles” Compiled and Edited by Oliver Oliver Reed.
Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions.
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He’s 0K now.
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I’ve got my ion you.
Two atoms are walking down the street.
“Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it.”
“Are you sure?”
Helium walks into a bar.
The bar tender says, “We don’t serve noble gasses in here.”
Helium doesn’t react.
You’d think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they’re being friendly, but really they steal each other’s electrons. How ionic.
Never trust an atom.
They make up everything.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop acid, and others drop the base.
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A photon checks into a hotel.
The bellhop asks, “Can I help you with your luggage?”
Photon replies, “I don’t have any, I’m traveling light.”
At the end of the semester, a 10th-grade chemistry teacher asked her students what was the most important thing that they learned in lab. A student promptly raised his hand and said, “Never lick the spoon.”
Teacher: Tell me about absolute zero.
Student: You can freeze yourself at -273°C and still be 0K.
Titanium is a most amorous metal.
When it gets hot, it’ll combine with anything.
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.
A neutron walks into a bar.
He asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?”
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, “For you, no charge”.
Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.
Teacher: That’s not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was…H to O.
Date with Potassium today… it went OK.
Q: According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
A: Because it’s made up of alkynes of people.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
Q: How can you spot a chemist in the restroom?
A: They wash their hands before they go.
Q: What did one chemist say to the other?
A: Baby I’ve had my ion you all night!
Forget hydrogen, you’re my number one element.
Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon.
Think like a proton, and stay positive!
“Even when you’re positive, negatives will still surround you.”
— Atomic Theory
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About author: Oliver Oliver Reed lives in EU with his wife and son where he pretends to be a serial entrepreneur and advertising creative when he would rather be writing. If not behind his computer, you may find him enjoying his free time with his wife and young son, reading his favorite authors, running, sailing, photographing, meditating or laughing with his friends.
Oliver lives his life by these inspiring words:
― Albert Einstein